The English (Forward) Defence League

“Leader” of the English Defence League Tommy Robinson has today officially quit the band. Robbie, Gary and Jason Orange are gutted. The man most famous for being refused service in Selfridges lived up to his charlatan and opportunist “previous” behaviour by conveniently ditching his far-right mob of chimpanzees in the weeks before he is brought before the Magistrate courts. The irony, other than the fact that both his parents are immigrants from Ireland, is that Robinson’s reasons given for leaving the extremist far-right group were because they had become “too extreme” and “far-right”. Rumours about an EDL-UKIP merger persist; well if England and Wales can play cricket under one banner…

Of course, the best thing about the E.D.L. is the counter response. The “English Disco Lovers“, who have apparently been shortlisted by the National Diversity Awards (err wut?), are the most prominent of these with their slogans such as “Don’t Hate, Gyrate!” or “NO to Xenophobes, YES to Strobes”. Scenes of disco ravers beating and bopping have consistently outnumbered and overshadowed the English Defence League’s xenophobic and anti-Islamic marches.

Why is this appearing on this blog? Well I am going to use this post to urge all cricket fans from across the UK to rise up and help finish off the floundering group of embittered, pungent apes known as the English Defence League. To do this I am officially starting up another counter-group: The English Forward-Defence League. Next time you hear about a bunch of racist chaps coming to your town, I implore you to don the whites, pad-up and get down to the front of the local mosque (this is usually where these demonstrations will take place). Proceed to swing your bat in their direction, showing the full face of your Duncan Fearnley. Remember, power is not the aim in this shot. It is about balance, timing and getting to the pitch of the ball. Although all straight balls on a good length have to be treated with the respect it deserves, occasionally it is nice to treat a long hop in the same way – just because you can.

“Dig in”.

The England Forward Defence League


About wrongunatlongon

I'll muse on various subjects, mainly involving willow, leather and grass. My natural instincts is to heap as many compound adjectives as I can to sporting natterings. If you like, then feel free to link :)
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5 Responses to The English (Forward) Defence League

  1. Fred Boycott says:

    Sign me up. Sounds like a proper League does that.
    When do we start practice sessions?

    #digin and #marchon

  2. Alberta White says:

    With the Advent of social Media the Good old Wisconsin Trade Fare had to change it initials. with Rumors about an EDL-UKIP merger persisting, will it give me a “BOSS” had at scrabble?

  3. Alex Britten says:

    This is so great.

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