Much missed, the combined ages of Michael Hussey and Rickey Ponting on retirement was 74. With a undeniable and OBVIOUSLY symmetrically beautiful coincidence, Australia have today been bowled out for 74 by Sri Lanka.
A hurricane or cyclone can only be classed as such if the winds reach at least 74mph. Nuwan ‘hurricane’ Kulasekara is a handy cricketer who normally bowls just above that, providing useful lower order runs and a steady enough grip on the new ball. Ten overs, two maidens, five wickets for twenty-two runs, he is not. Lasith ‘cyclone’ Malinga has a funny action, a funnier haircut and an ok yorker. Seven Overs, two maidens, three wickets for fourteen runs, he is not.
The truth is, chop the head off this Australian line-up and the rest will wither. Openers Warner and Hughes are sporadically dangerous and will remain sporadically dangerous through their careers, scary on their day which may never come again and otherwise useless. Michael Clarke is the sore thumb of the side at three, a beacon of hope amidst the gloomiest of outlooks. Below him the tail starts with bowling all-rounder David Hussey followed by some club standard cricketers in Bailey and Wade, followed by some bloke I’ve never heard of and then ‘Peggy’ Mitchell Johnson and the rest of the bowlers, who thankfully had just enough about them to edge them past 50.
The seventy four was a third rate warship with, obviously, 74 guns. Australia have a great captain trying to bail out a dinghy taking on water with no weapons to speak of.